It’s a Sunday in late September. That means there are football games to be watched today. A 1:00 game. A 4:00 game. There is pre-season hockey on tv tonight and while, yea, it’s pre-season, it’s still hockey. The sounds of sticks and skates and whistles in my living room is music to my ears. There’s the final countdown of the baseball season, my Yankees playing the Red Sox, playoff time close at hand. There’s no basketball, but the lockout is part of the day’s course of sports news. And of course, there’s soccer. I’m pretty sure soccer season never ends.

It’s almost overwhelming, this embarrassment of sports riches. I leave Sportscenter on all morning so I can take in everything that’s happening in each sport as I go about my routine. I’m making fun of the Mets to my father in email, fighting with my son about hockey (he’s a damn Rangers fan) and talking Green Bay footbal with my best friend. My twitter timeline reads like a sports ticker and I can barely keep up with all the cheers and boos, shit-talking and score changes. 

It’s almost too much at times, but I won’t tune any of it out because it doesn’t last that long, this convergence of seasons. Soon, baseball will be over, regular season hockey will take precedence for me over football games and the frenzied feeling of having all the sports handed to me at once will abate as I settle into a mood of careful hope with the Islanders and expected disappointment from the Jets. 

Sports may not be life, but early falls sure brings one hell of a distraction from it.

Last night’s season opener between the Packers and the Saints was good enough to make me thank the lawyers above for the blessed spectacle that is professional football.

And the Packers’ Aaron Rodgers may be my new favorite QB (since it clearly won’t be Alex Smith). First, he bashes Mark Sanchez for his ab-full spread in GQ…

“Look at this,” NFL player, Aaron Rodgers told ESPN of Sanchez’s spread in an interview Wednesday. “That’s embarrassing. Page 94 of the GQ thing here. That’s terrible.”

…and then after last night’s game he joked about the workouts organized by players during the lockout…which the Packers decided to skip.

“That was a good start for us,” Rodgers joked. “But I’ve just got to ask myself, ‘What would have happened if we had had offseason workouts?’”

It’s fantasy football draft weekend and that means I’m drinking a gin and tonic at the airport waiting for a plane to Vegas. Ace the bartender is taking my drink order and with each one she faithfully and robotically adds, “Would you like a double for two dollars more?”

Ace, yes, of course I would. A Vegas trip means mastering the art of drinking straight through 36 hours without losing track of your mind, money, or lunch.

I joined the Perpetual Fantasy League (“PFL”) in 1997 when doubles were a dollar more and the phrase was a rallying cry for league co-owners Middlefinger, Varl, Squarehead, and Papagarzio. First one to the bar would text the others: “Hey, you know what — DOUBLES A DOLLAR MORE BITCHES”.

I had the same reservations about joining the PFL as I did about joining the staff at American McCarver. Do you want to join a team that takes a disproportionate amount of pleasure in the art of talking shit about each other? I’m not talking quips, I’m not talking about snark, I’m talking about a group of bright individuals devoting a good portion of their not inconsiderable mental capacity to viciously tearing each other apart… over sports.

“Another drink?”

“Yes, Ace. Is that your real name?”

“Would you like a double for two dollars more?”

“Yes, Ace.”

I’m quick witted. I can verbally spar, but when it comes to sports trash talking, my original belief was that you either had the gift or you didn’t. You are either predisposed to be a great trash talker or you stay the hell out of the way.

Incorrect.

In Jane McGonigal’s book, Reality is Broken, she explains:

[Trash talking] recent scientific research has shown, is one of the fastest and most effective ways to intensify our positive feelings for each other. Teasingly trash-talking allows us to provoke each other’s negative emotions in a very mild way — we stimulate a very small amount of anger or hurt or embarrassment. This tiny provocation has two powerful effects. First, it confirms trust: the person doing the teasing is demonstrating the capacity to hurt, but simultaneously showing that the intention is not to hurt. Just like a dog might play-bite another dig to show that it wants to be friends, we bare our teeth to each other in order to remind each other that we could, but never really would hurt each other. Conversely, by allowing someone else to tease us, we confirm our willingness to be in a vulnerable position. We are actively demonstrating our trust in the other person’s regard for our emotional well-being.

I instinctively know this is true, but as I transcribe the idea, I hear Squarehead in the back of my head: “No, actually you are really a shitty owner. Who the hell would draft Daniel Thomas before Mark Ingram? I am really looking forward to fucking with you ALL SEASON LONG.”

“… for two dollars more?”

“Yes, Ace.”

Starting shortly, American McCarver will systematize trash talking by opening comments for staff writers. Staff writers will now be able to bare our teeth via the comments system and while I believe Jane when she tells me we’re just confirming trust and we’d never actually hurt other, I also trust that we’re not that concerned with each other’s emotional well-being

Fuck it. Doubles a dollar more. Bitches. 

(Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gagilas/2959426266/)

After violence marred a weekend preseason game against the archrival Oakland Raiders, the San Francisco 49ers on Monday moved to strengthen security at home games, including banning tailgating after kickoff and warning fans that rowdy behavior won’t be tolerated.

Although I count myself a 49ers fan, my brother is a Raiders fan and we’ve generally gone to at least one home game for each team every season. The study in contrasts of the two fan bases is wonderful and right before my brother and I end up fall down drunk (usually about 11am), we have a good laugh at the differences. In a nutshell, most of the Raiders fan base appears to have been paroled the night before so they could attend the game, whereas most of the 49ers fan base appears to have flown down from their Tahoe winter home to attend the game. Or something like that.

But to be clear, I don’t think that means the Raiders fans caused this. If anything I’ve probably felt more safe in the Raiders parking lot than 49ers (but mostly because I might fall into one of the lakes that are a feature of Candlestick winters). And in fact, I attended a regular season 49ers/Raiders game a few years ago that was played in Oakland and that the 49ers won in overtime. The only thing that happened to me because of my 49ers jacket and hat is that the guy in the parking lot selling t-shirts of a 49er fan giving a Raiders fan a blow job looked at me disparagingly.

The violence at this game was not fan on fan, it was fans on ownership — it was just a reality that ownership wasn’t represented in the cheap seats. Let’s face it, neither the Yorks nor Al Davis have seemed to care one iota about fielding a competitive team in years and this violence is the collective frustration of both fan bases saying enough is enough.

The ownership groups can take all the preventative measures they want, it won’t matter until they start preventing their sucky teams from losing. And the only reason we tailgate in the parking lot after the game starts is because it’s less depressing than going inside the stadium. Sorry guys, but this one is on you.

(Source: Yahoo!)

Those of you who are not aware of the ineptitude of my favorite college football team, the California Golden Bears, need to know only this: Their conference awards its champion with a berth to the grandaddy of ‘em all, the Rose Bowl. Cal last played in the Rose Bowl in 1959. (Thanks a bunch, Mack Brown, you destroyer of dreams.)

Anyway, a few years ago I realized that no Cal football players have ever been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, either. Now, there’s decent news on the horizon: former Cal Bear Tony Gonzalez has turned into one of the best Tight Ends in NFL history. So he seems to be a lock.

Then there’s Aaron Rodgers, who departed Cal after the Holiday Bowl letdown (see photo above) for the green room of the NFL Draft. After sitting in the green room for approximately five years, a Green Bay-bound tomato truck passed by and offered the down-on-his-luck kid a lift.

After holding a clipboard for approximately five years while Brett Farve dithered and re-dithered and zithered and slithered and finally parted ways with the Packers, Rodgers took over and became a star, and finally won a Super Bowl. Now, Trent Dilfer will tell you that winning a Super Bowl is not a ticket to the Hall of Fame for a quarterback. But it sure helps. So perhaps Aaron Rodgers will one day make it there too.

In the meantime, though, Cal has found its first football hall of famer, and it comes from an unlikely source: the 1951 Rose Bowl team, the second-to-last such Cal team to win its conference championship outright. Les Richter, a linebacker for Cal who went on to play for the L.A. Rams, was inducted to the Pro Football Hall of Fame this weekend.

Richter played nine seasons for the Rams, then retired and got into motor sports, eventually becoming a NASCAR executive. He died in June 2010, but he’s achieved immortality in Canton, Ohio. Given that Cal will never, ever play in the Rose Bowl again, this is about as good as it gets.

Unfortunately, we’re still two Hall of Famers behind Stanford.

[Photo by me: Aaron Rodgers leads the Bears to a crushing defeat at the Holiday Bowl after getting screwed by Mack Brown.]

thisistheglamorous:

The day before Steelers secondary coach Ray Horton left to become the Arizona Cardinals’ defensive coordinator, he stopped by the team complex for some final farewells.

One of the people he spoke to was Maurice Matthews, a cafeteria cook who has reportedly worked for the Steelers for some 20 years. Matthews was also a loyal fan, driving himself to many of the team’s road games, writes Darren Urban of Arizona’s Word From The Birds blog.

During Horton’s seven years in Pittsburgh, the two had regularly joked about two things: Matthews’ ability to come out and play some “D” for the Steelers, and his often-made request to borrow Horton’s car, a red 1999 Mercedes SL500. But as they said their goodbyes, Horton started acting like he’d forgotten his wallet. And he asked Matthews to help him out.

Matthews gave Horton the $20 he had in his pocket — and Horton yelled, “Sold for $20!”

Then he gave Matthews the keys to his car.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette tells the story of how Matthews reacted:

“I’m like, ‘Stop playing with me Ray; don’t play with me,’ ” Matthews said. “The other [workers] were looking at me, their jaws dropped.

“Ray said, ‘Hey, you always liked the car, you’re a good dude, I know you’ll take care of it. It’s yours.”

The following day, Horton had Matthews drive him to the airport in the Mercedes convertible, which had 64,000 miles on it. When Horton picked him up, he handed Matthews the title and proper paperwork to transfer ownership of the car.

“I’m still in shock,” Matthews said. “I don’t think it has hit me yet. I still pinch myself. I look out the window when I bring it to work and I just go, ‘Man, that’s mine.’”

As free agents and coaches often remind us, most of pro football is “just business.” But that’s not what Horton said to Steelers coach Mike Tomlin after he sold his car at a steep discount, according to Word From The Birds.

“I just told Mike, ‘It’s just taking care of guys who took care of you,’” Horton said.

(Source: NPR)

Bubba Smith was an All-American at Michigan State University, who retired his jersey in 2006. He entered the College Football Hall of Fame in 1996. In the 1967 NFL draft, the Baltimore Colts made him the first pick. He won a Super Bowl with the Colts in 1970. Bubba played in two Pro Bowls and spent nine seasons in the NFL. 

Yet he will be mostly remembered as Hightower in Police Academy.

RIP Bubba. And Hightower.

Emphasis added.

Throughout his career, Moss earned the reputation as one of the most dangerous players in the game, when he wanted to be.

(Source: Yahoo!)

Really interesting piece at philly.com.

“The thing that has always set NFL Films apart, the thing that has been its trademark, is the slow spiral in the air,” said Comcast SportsNet’s Ray Didinger, an Emmy-winning producer and writer at Films for 9 years before leaving in 2008. “One shot lasting 45 seconds. The ball leaving the quarterback’s hands and being caught. That was the kind of stuff that made NFL Films great and helped make the league so popular. That was their signature.

“But you’ve got these guys [at NFL Network] now with ADD, they’re watching that ball spinning and they’re saying, ‘OK, let’s catch it already. Go, go, go. Catch the ball, will ya.’

“We would sit down in meetings with them occasionally when I was there and we’d be discussing programming for the upcoming season. Every time we would propose an NFL Films-type look at something, you could kind of see them say, ‘Well, ya know, we were thinking of something that was a little edgier and a little punchier and a little faster.’

“The term that we used to get kicked back at us from time to time was, ‘dinosaur television.’ They’d say, ‘That stuff is dated. Been done before. People have seen it. We’re going to change the way football is presented on television.’

“That really bothered me because the one thing about NFL Films was it was distinctive. [If] you saw an NFL Films show on television, it didn’t sound like, look like, feel like anything else on television. If you saw it, you said, ‘That’s NFL Films.’ It had a uniqueness. What’s unique about the NFL Network? It looks like what it is. It looks like a knockoff of ESPN.”